


The Telling

by crystaltongues



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Romance, skysolo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5309924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystaltongues/pseuds/crystaltongues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Return of the Jedi there have been reports of an Inquisitor in the Outer Rim. Han and Luke go to track down this Sith. Their budding relationship proves difficult to repair in the midst of war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Han and Luke Awkwardly Care About Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to C. and JJ for beta reading.

Han draped the ragged blanket over Luke’s lean frame. He had acquired the it years ago in some throwaway town-but it had served him well in the deep cold of space. Luke's soft sigh and the way he curled into the blanket sent a shiver down Han's spine. It took all Han had not to reach down and allow flesh to meet flesh. there was no time for that kind of thought in war; only time enough for quiet gestures of caring in dark rooms during the long draw of hyperspace.

Only time enough for fantasies in locked cabin rooms between jumps. only time enough for dream about the last Jedi's parted lips that hid a secret only he deserved to know…

Han groaned and took a seat across from Luke. The kid was so exhausted from the last firefight that he had fallen asleep before he made it to his bunk. Han found his hands rubbing furiously at his heavy eyes. Too much had happened in the last few days and too little time had been found to talk about it.

They had all assumed that after the death of the Emperor that peace would resume. No one had thought that so much death could continue to permeate the galaxy. Propaganda had turned many systems against the Jedi and the rebellion, especially in the elite citizens.

His thoughts would remain just that then, safely tucked away into the confines of secret thrills and a stomach tied in knots. Never a loss of control that would lead to a fruition of those needs.

No, the last thing that kid needed was him mucking up his life with whatever the hell feelings he was having. It was probably nothing. Just the way the light shone on his blond hair, the way he lit up the darkest of places, the way nothing could dampen his spirit.

It was nothing.

Surely it wasn’t love.

* * *  
  


The dense cloud of sleep still surrounded Luke's conscious mind, but the musky smell of the well used blanket was easily recognizable. His instincts told him to bury himself in the sensation, to cling to Han through the safety of private, fervent dreams.

 

The scent brought to life the hot thrill that crept up in his stomach whenever he got too close to Han. In the turmoil of battles they had often gotten much too close for Luke's sanity. It made keeping his mind centered in the moment that much harder. There were even instances where they had crashed into each other, where their bodies were pressed together in the drama of war.

 

Down the corridor the familiar clanking of tools and foul curses told Luke that Han was attempting some kind of upgrade on the Falcon. Luke shook his head to rid himself of the taboo thoughts. He wandered down the hall to find his friend covered in blackish gunk, his dirty hair clung to his face and neck with sweat.

 

"Hey kid, finally up?"

 

"Yeah. Thanks for the blanket and all. I don't even remember falling asleep." He leaned against the wall with a smile playing at his lips.

 

"Yeah, well, I guess the job to take care of the last Jedi landed on me, huh?"

 

"Yeah, I guess so."

 

The words fell around them like heavy boulders. Awkward glances and hands shifting around in pockets signaled to Luke what neither of them would ever admit, what the Force could easily confirm but his fear kept him from it.

 

The delicate balance would be broken if he stuck around Han any longer. Luke made his way back to his bunk as quickly as he could. he eased himself into a deep Force meditation. The crystalline energy was his savior, and now he desperately needed to be saved from his own desires.

 

An empty expanse opened his mind to a serene existence free from the complexities of human attachments and needs. Luke reached out into the place that held the knowledge he craved. To be enveloped in the warmth that thousands of Jedi took harbor in before him.

 

It absorbed him, reflected him, refracted the infinite possibilities of his life. The Jedi took great comfort in the ebb and flow of the Force, of all the potential that life held. When he allowed his mind to become a blank slate and let it all fall away, the stark clash of flesh and blood replaced with the solace of the void.

 

Luke knew he was coming long before the soft whoosh of the door and the even stomp of the smuggler's boots that carried Han into the room.

 

 

The deep meditation brought a hyper awareness of his surroundings that stayed just below the surface of conscious understanding and allowed Luke to relish Han's Force presence while he meditated. Part of him hoped that Han would remain in the doorway-a simple and beautiful part of his relaxation. He could sense a question lingering in Han's mind and knew his wish was futile.\

 

"Han." The word came out smooth and soft, a quiet recognition.

 

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" He let a teasing chuckle dance around the room. "

 

Luke's grin touched the corners of his eyes. Through all the banter he knew Han would follow him to every part of the galaxy if he requested it. The Corellian's loyalty had never faltered in all they had been through together. The quick remarks decorated with the heavy syrup of sarcasm only solidified their bond.

 

"No, you aren't interrupting. What can I do for you?" Luke bit his lip...he hadn't intended for it to come out so formal. The control that came with the Jedi title seeped into his personal life and this filled him with regret. He could already feel Han pulling away from his calculated words. With his senses so attuned from the meditation, the recoil was painful.

 

Luke jumped up to explain himself, to protest against Han's turned back, but it was too late. He had betrayed their playful teasing with the detachment of the Jedi.

 

"Han! Wait-"

 

Han glanced over his shoulder. "Forget it, I don't remember why I cam in here anyway." His muscled figure disappeared on the other side of the door. Luke's arm arched out after him, closely slowly around the air that should have contained his friend.

 

Han glanced over his shoulder. "Forget it, I don't remember why I cam in here anyway." His muscled figure disappeared on the other side of the door. Luke's arm arched out after him, closely slowly around the air that should have contained his friend.

 

A closed first rubbed against weary eyes and the redness that colored his face did nothing to ease Luke's anxiety. The shock of icy water calmed the physical signs of his want, but nothing made a dent in his inner worries. The meditation had gotten him so close, but his teachings are what drove Han away. The constant pull from his Jedi teachings and the expectations that his force blind friend put on him were threatening to tear Luke apart.

 

***

 

Han's life as a smuggler meant he was accustomed to tension and rigid muscle, but Luke causing this feeling was another matter all together. He slammed himself into the pilot's chair and glared at the controls. Rage exerted out of his sigh. The farm boy that he met so long ago was being replaced by someone that Yoda conjured up.

 

The Jedi business was fine until it began to change who Luke was. He hadn't come all this way just to see the man he cared for slip into the life of a cold statue.

 

The chime of the holo broke through his painted thoughts. He took a moment to sooth his anger enough to speak out loud.

 

"What is it, Highness?" He slumped back in his chair.

 

"Han, where is Luke? I have a mission that is vital to the survival of the Jedi."

 

Disapproval emanated from Han. "Oh, do you? And just why should that concern me?"

 

"Han, did something happen that I should know about?" Leia's tone turned to sympathy, but Han would accept none of it.

 

"Why don't you just call him on his personal channel, Princess?" He spit

 

"General, he will need you on this mission. The intel we have indicates-"

 

"I don't have time for this!" Han ended the transmission.

 

This was just great. Now he would have to go on some fool trek across the galaxy to take track some kind of Jedi information. He heaved himself up from the chair and stalked back to Luke's quarters.

 

 

He walked in on Luke laying half naked and damp in his bunk. The young man propped himself up on an elbow, his face a mixture of curiosity and repentance. Even with all of the passive aggression between them, the boy's beauty was evident. He forgot himself momentarily and allowed his eyes to follow the toned lines down Luke's neck, past his stomach, and to the contour of his groin.

 

Han waved his hand in the air as if to dismiss the thoughts from his head.

 

"Hey uh, apparently we got assigned some kind of Jedi mission. Leia said it's vital." The gruffness of his voice kept Luke at a distance.

 

"What? What's going on?"

 

 

"I don't know, kid. I didn't stick around on the holo long enough to find out all the sordid details." As Luke began to move toward him, Han crossed his arms and backed away. He wasn't ready to close the gap just yet.

 

"Well, we have to go find out!"

 

"Yeah, alright. You gonna get dressed so you can help me fly this thing over to her or what?"Han took another step back, but his eyes stayed fixed a second too long on Luke's body. He could sense the heat grow between them, with Luke maintaining eye contact as he dressed himself. Han growled and ripped himself away from the situation.

 

Strong fingers dug into calloused palms with a hope that the pain would bring him back to reality. The idea that the kid returned anything for him was just laughable. Friends. Friends and nothing more. This whole thing was an illusion. Just some sort of crazy reaction to all the war and death they had seen together.

 

The angry flick of controls and the slamming of buttons while he fired up the ship were the only way he could stay sane. He had felt too much loss already, and he wasn't about to ruin a friendship over some out of control dreams. He owed that much to the kid anyway. He ran his hands through his hair. He had to get a grip on his emotions before he lost it completely.

 

Luke slid silently into the copolit position and deliberately avoided eye contact with Han. The way he dipped his head away and flashed his eyes away drove Han to the brink. He slammed the coordinates into the control panel with more force than needed, and the surprise of the sound lead them to glance at each other. The moment seemed to stretch on into oblivion, as did every moment spent looking into those eyes.

 

Han cleared his throat. “Hey Luke. I'm sorry, okay? There, I said it.”

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

The breadth of Han's sigh only widened the gap between them. “Nah, let's just focus on this.”

 

“Han...” Luke's expression reached out to him with a hint of a gentle farmboy. Han groaned again.

 

“How do you do it? Stay so shut off from your emotions? Doesn't that get old after a while?” His questions spilled out one after the other, urgent and scared and wanting.

 

Luke stumbled over his answer. “It's not easy, Han. With practice it's become more innate, but it still takes effort. It's a skill like any other.”

 

When Han rolled his eyes, he did it with his whole body. “Yeah, but you got the Force to help you, huh?”

 

“Yes, but the Force exists in all beings. All of us can meditate and draw upon that power to help us-”

 

“Then why haven't I ever felt it?” His tone was jarring and if this conversation were allowed to continue only bad things would follow. The Force thing meant so much to Luke -he knew that- but it was just so damned hard to accept. He had seen Luke's power with his own eyes, had witnessed him do impossible things, had felt the calming quality of his Force powers, had even been partially healed through the Force. Old beliefs, like old habits, die hard.

Han watched Luke's face morph into the emotionless Jedi state again. Han's palm rubbed his neck, the hard knots he felt there a result of all the fighting. Luke's lips parted to speak again, but seemed to decide against it when met with Han's stormy gaze. Which was fine with him, talking to a shadow of his friend wasn't in his agenda, anyway.

 

The silence that ensued turned out to be almost as painful as talking. Han's unchecked emotions juxtaposed with Luke's serenity and the burning ache crept up on Han again. It was too much, Luke was always too much. A beacon of light sat next to him, a dirty smuggler. Han knew he didn't really earn the title of General, that he hadn't done anything heroic. Only what he had to do to protect Luke. Those fool idealistic with their fool politics...but Luke was different. He had always been better than all of the others.

 

Now all those things he cherished were fading away from Luke. Instead of their teasing fun, he had a closed off man. Maybe there was a way to bring Luke back. Or is this just the way the Jedi were, some kind of permanent change in them?

 

At least they would arrive soon. At this point any mission would be a welcome distraction to his ridiculous feelings.

 

* * *

 

Luke shifted uneasily as he listened to Leia explain their mission. He could sense Han's tension and fear, too. The danger was made more evident by the emptiness of the room. Leia had only asked the two of them to attend. The mission was secret and it needed to remain between the three of them only. No one else could be trusted.

 

“This adversary was last spotted in the Outer Rim, on Cardooine **.** We do not know how many there are.

What we do know is this monster is dangerous. He is armed with a lightsaber that is consistent with the Imperial Inquisitors used.”

 

“What does that mean?” Han asked. Luke met his question with a shrug.

 

Leia brought up a holo of the lightsaber. “The Inquisitors were trained by the Empire to hunt down Jedi and Force sensitives. They used any and all means to convert people to the Dark Side. Those who did not turn were terminated. I had always feared that they would surface again... I imagine that his one has gone rogue.” Luke stared at the holo. The lightsaber had a round handle with a double blade.

 

“So you want me n' Luke to go track this guy down? Look Princess, I appreciate the sentiment, but what am I gonna do against this Jedi gone crazy?”

 

“Luke will need you on this mission. From what we know, the inquisitors will focus on Force sensitives . You will be able to provide back up without being at risk of turning to the dark side. If Luke ends up in a dark place, your job will be to eliminate him.”

 

“Now wait just a minute, if that's what you have in mind, then I'm out of here! Cmon, Luke. I'm not not gonna take part in this! We're leaving.” Han did nothing to hide his hurt, but Luke did everything to comfort him. Luke's hand wrapped around Han's to bring him back to the center of the room.

 

“Han it won't be a problem. I fought my father and the emperor and came out alright. She's right, I will need you.” The words were more intimate out loud than Luke had anticipated. Han's lopsided look told Luke he had over stepped the boundaries. Luke started to fix his mistake, but Leia spoke first.

 

“There is no one else we can send, Han. Luke is the only one who stands a chance against him, and you are the only General I trust to accompany him. You know him better than anyone. I-”

 

“Oh yeah? So why don't you go with him?”

 

“Han, I can't. I have other responsibilities and the two of you have served together since Endor.”

 

“No way.”

 

Luke knew Han's fury was building, so he tightened his grip on his hand. They had done a million suicidal missions before, what was one more?

 

“It's never even going to come to that!” Luke protested.

 

“Then take it off the orders!” Han tried to rip his hand from Luke's, but Luke didn't let go.

 

“If the two of you don't go you will be responsible for the deaths of innocent Force sensitive people. What if they raise up an army of Sith? What will the two of you do then?”

 

“We won't. We'll complete the mission.” Luke normally didn't like to use the Force to influence his friend's feelings, but he reached out to touch Han gently through the Force. The soft presence enfolded Han and kept him quiet long enough for Luke to get the rest of the details from Leia.

 

“The information we have is from the early days of the rebellion, and from the sightings of this one in particular. I've put all of the intel we have on inquisitors and the coordinates of the last sighting into this data pad. Luke, expect everything you saw from the last two Sith and more. Their specialty is taking down Jedi and we don't know what his motives are. With his masters and the Empire destroyed it is unclear what the Sith may want or try to do. Try to find out as much about this as you can. But your main order is to kill him. Understood?”

 

“Yes. We'll leave immediately. And Leia?”

 

Her face softened back into that of his twin sister instead of the General. “Yes, Luke?”

 

“May the Force be with you.” He threw her a two finger solute which she returned with a smile.

 

“May the Force be with you.”

Luke didn't ease up on his calming Force presence until they got to the supply room. He wasn't ready for Han's anger and the betrayed gleam in his eyes.

 

“Hey, don't think I don't know what you were doing back there! It's creepy enough when you control your emotions, let alone when you force that shit on other people.” He stuck his finger in Luke's face. “If you think I'm doing this mission, you're nuts. And if you think I would ever shoot you, you're even more nuts. And finally, I swear to the gods Luke, if you ever use that on me again I'll have your head.”

 

The words hurt less than Luke had anticipated. The admission of caring for Luke warmed him, centered him. His heart told him to wrap himself up in Han's arms, but his mind quickly smothered the idea.

 

“Han, I'm going. You know she was only saying what is best for us. Look, I don't expect either one of us to shoot each other. Cmon, help me load all this up. I don't know how long we will be gone so just get enough for a month or so.”

 

Han didn't move.

 

“Okay, and I'm sorry that I used the Force on you. But I didn't do it in a mean way! I just wanted you to come with me.” His voice threatened to crack. With anyone else, he was almost suave, but around Han it all fell apart. His hand itched to hold Han's again.

 

“Alright, alright. Let's just get out of here, okay?” His voice was still laced with anger, but it was a good enough truce for Luke.

 

“You got it.”


	2. In Which Luke and Han's First Kiss is Rudely Interrupted

They stepped out of the Falcon and into a viridescent paradise. The ancient trees stood like proud guardians over the baby ferns and little shrubs. A cool breeze rustled through the leaves and caressed Luke's hair. It would be nothing more than perfect to be able to live in this woody heaven.

He shivered. The cold Sith presence stopped him in his tracks. It was dangerous to reach out to find his exact location. Force links go both ways, and he sure as hell didn't want this guy in his head. They would have to track him on foot, then. And quickly. Luke's presence would not go unnoticed for long, and it was possible that he could already sense Luke.

“Heh, maybe we should stick around after this mission, huh?” Han drew his hands to his hips and scanned the forest.

“Yeah, it sure is beautiful.” Beautiful like the filtered light playing in Han's eyes, beautiful like his smokey voice, like his strong hands.

“Something up?” Han raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah, he's definitely here.”

“So what's the plan, kid?”

“I was thinking we should stay in the forest. Draw him away from the cities. I figure we can use the forest to our advantage. Maybe you can get a clear shot of him while he's focused on me.”

“You really think that'll work? I've seen you deflect blaster fire and you never miss, if this guy has that kind of skill...”

“I think it's worth a shot. Just duck if the fire comes back atchya.”

Han bowed with an outstretched arm. “Lead the way then.”

Their smiles built up to soft chuckles. This was the way it as supposed to be. Easy. Playful. No pressure to live up to labels or be anyone. Maybe they had seen too much of battle to function together in the downtime. All his life Luke had dreamed of flying away to fight, but he no idea how deeply it would change him to take lives. He had no idea that it would take his life, too. The Jedi of old were noble peacekeepers, but all the only way Luke knew peace was by death. So much of who he was changed so fast that he could hardly keep up with it. It was no surprise that Han was moody, too. Han was older and didn't have a “before the war” self to lean back on. He only had the battle worn and scared version of himself.

Luke chewed on this while he led the way through the forest. He was careful to avoid the sharp snap of twigs and the loud scurry of startled animals. Han followed dutifully-he was barely a hand's length behind Luke the entire journey. So when Luke changed pace or even stopped completely, Han ended up against him The feeling of hot breath on the back of Luke's neck made his mind hazy. His hand trailed backwards toward Han's, but he caught himself before they touched. He covered by touching his lightsaber instead.

Han became impatient with the slow trek through the leafy canopy.

“Hey Luke?” he asked in a hasty whisper

“Yeah Han?” Luke was busy checking for danger and missed Han's nervousness.

“So something kinda weird happened back there, huh?” He ran his head through his hair slowly

Luke whipped around before he squatted down in the brush, hidden from view.

“You saw something? Why didn't' you say so when you saw it? How far back-?” Han interrupted his frantic questioning.

“No, kid, I meant back at the base.” Han avoided Luke's eyes, picking at a piece of moss on the tree instead.

“Oh. I thought we sorted that out before we left.”

“Yeah, uh, not all of it. Look, I might be about to ruin everything, but I don't care anymore. Ya know, if I didn't know any better myself I'd say you care about me.”

The knot in Luke's stomach jumped into his throat and it a struggle to get any words out. He dipped his head down to try to look into Han's eyes, but Han stayed concentrated on the moss.

“Well, of course I do, Han.” His voice dwindled off, unsure.

Han shook his head. This time when Luke tried to make eye contact, Han met his eyes. It took only a split second for them to close the distance.

Then Han's mouth was against Luke's. Hot with desire and afire with unanswered questions, and ripe with answers that Luke has been too ashamed to give. Han persisted and pushed until Luke gave in to relaxation and pleasure. Tongue danced with tongue and Han's palm cupped Luke's face. His thumb rubbed in gentle circles as if to rub away any doubts.

When Han jerked away from Luke, it felt as if a piece of Luke's heart went with him.

Han was shaking. “It's so cold all of a sudden...”

“I feel it, too. Hang on!”

A spark of red cut through the underbrush to reveal a pale figure. He descended upon Luke and Han in a fury unknown to both of them.

Luke's green blade answered in a swirl of light side energy. He draw upon the Force to settle down his heart.

“Luke, plan?” Han was frantic at the sheer power of the Sith in front of him. The fighting was too fast for him to get a shot in.

“I got it! Don't worry so much.” Luke switched to a defensive form. The Sith was wasting all his energy in this full frontal assault, which gave Luke the chance to wait. If he could just wear him down, it would be easy to capture him or cut him down. Luke could endure hours of combat, but this monster would never last that long.

The Force swirled around the inquisitor like a typhoon. Without conscious effort he broke trees into pieces and they splintered like shrapnel. Rocks and leaves were caught up in the Force storm, too. Luke cut down all the debris that fell at him, using the Force to remain undisturbed by any of it. He became a calm lake, still and glassy. The red and green flashed before him like a dream, fast but the feeling was slow. Each move a simple response, only serenity. Like a cloud, floating, existing, he in harmony with the Force and felt as if he was a bystander to this battle.

His demeanor seemed to only infuriate his opponent, as his acrobatic moves became more wild and out of control. Luke had never seen anything fight with such determination and hatred. He reached out cautiously with the tendrils of the Force only to immediately recoil. The corruption he found there caused him to misstep with his back leg, and he found himself on the forest floor. He had lost control of his mood for a fraction of a second, and it cost him his upper hand.

The inquisitor contorted his face into a sick version of a smile and hit a button on his lightsaber. It began to spin. His laughter mixed with the hum of the blades as he pushed forward to cut Luke down. The darkness held within the inquisitor was still reeling in Luke's mind as he rolled out of the way. Something was dripping into his mind, like a darkness corroding all his senses. Gathering up the light side, he pushed back against the invasion of his mind. The raw power was unbeatable except through soresu, and he had lost that hope already.

Luke knew what was going to happen. The Force showed him Han's desperation and the discharge of a blaster. It showed him the anguish. It showed him the chaos of the dark side. He stretched out both hands-one to push back the inquisitor, and one to push back Han. It wasn't enough, he wasn't fast enough. Nothing he ever did was enough.

Han's weapon fired as he falling backwards, but the bolt was easily deflected by the twin blades. The link the two shared was unmistakable, and the evil that sparkled in the inquisitors eyes filled Luke with the regret.

His long strides brought him closer to Han. Reflexively, Han fired center mass at the inquisitor. Luke pushed away the ache from the fall to Force jump in front of Han, his saber blocked the path to Han. With white knuckles and beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, Luke pulled back so he could jab into the middle of the circular hilt. A sizzle matched with resistance meant he found his mark, but a dark blur crashed into his chest. It pushed the air from his chest and sent him backward. Luke tried to compensate with a back flip, but miscalculated. A dizzying pain shot from his elbow to his shoulder.

Luke didn't have time to get upright again before the inquisitor was upon him. In his peripheral, he could see Han working his way towards them.

 _Stay back._ Han wouldn't stand a chance against this kind of power.

The dull sting of his hair being pulled caused Luke to wince. The Sith pulled him to his feet and wrapped the saber wielding hand around him. The blade crackled in his eyes. It filled his vision.

“What do you want, Sith?” Luke struggled against the hold.

“I want what no one else could get.” He let out a laugh with the undertones of painful threats.

A tremor ran through Luke. Visions of the Sith lightening, hot with hatred, wrought with pain, seized him. His desperation took over as instinct as his hand shot up to the man's face. Fingers found their mark quickly. He jammed them, hard, into the man's eye.

A gut wrenching scream rang out and echoed through the trees. Luke didn't stop to look at the man that made it, instead he tried to run to Han. Han's mouth was open in horror, at first Luke supposed it was due to his actions. But he realized too late that it was because the inquisitor had grabbed his hair once again. Luke saw it happen from above the battleground, saw someone else experience the blunt force trauma of a lightsaber hilt to the face. It seemed to go on for hours, though he must have only gotten 4 or 5 hits in. The sound of a blaster bouncing around his head brought a single word to his lips.

“Han.” he breathed through the blood and the anguish.

* * *

A terror took hold of Han-deeper than the ocean, darker than the night's sky, sharp as a gundark's claws. It pumped adrenaline through him, it moved him forward without thinking. His finger never left the trigger, the smooth grip of the blaster an extension of himself. None of the shots connected, but it didn't matter.

That warm feeling in his stomach that showed itself whenever Luke smiled had grown into a blinding white anger.

Anger and terror. Terror and anger.

Two of the most dangerous feelings in the world, and they were aimed right at the man that hurt Luke.

It was a strange feeling to run so fast and not get anywhere. He could see Luke being put in binders, his head was dangling and limp. He could see Luke's lightsaber being safely hung on the Sith's belt. The burn of the whiskey he drank on the Falcon. Twigs and leaves crunching in double time. There was no escape.

The only unfair fight is the on you lose.

Today the Jedi and the scoundrel lost.

* * *

His senses came back to him in unnatural waves. The first was touch. His shirt stuck to his chest, wet with sweat. His hands were bound in front of him and the cold duracrete floor felt good against the scrapes on his fingers. Sticky, crusted blood dried his hair to the left side of his face.

Sight was the next to return, albeit blurry. The room was dark and void of furnishings, save a containment generator that held Luke.

Although it may have only been a memory, taste was next. The clean taste of their first kiss, the salty sensation of their last. And now the copper that filled his mouth. More blood, then. And next, smell. Han rocked back and forth. The only smell he could identify was death.

Sound was the last sense to return to him. If it had come any sooner, he would have stopped making noises. But the sobs just kept coming, one after the other. The screams were drawn from his throat, the words from his soul.

It was an unstoppable panic, the type of natural disaster that no one could prepare for or run from. Nightmares ripped through his reality, old fears brought to the surface. A long, pale hand dragged them out of him and spilled them into the room. There stood Darth Vader and his torture droids. Han's screams were background music to this play of horrors.

It was never ending, all of his fears and deals gone wrong and ill bred choices were laid there before him. It was infinite, a repeating loop.

It was everything Han fought against every night when his lids closed over his eyes.

A voice entered his head, it was raspy and spoke slowly.

“You are not good enough and you never were. Haven't you ever wondered why so many people betrayed you? Haven't you ever tried to guess why you never amounted to anything?”

The image of Vader that stood before him became a twisted evil. His mask melted to reveal it Luke under the helmet, and it was Luke that said these things to him now.

It was the reason he had never pursued Luke. Han had suspected this all along. He was only a coward, only a selfish pirate.

“Do you feel that, Solo? It is the truth of your life. But I can give you worth.”

A thick smoke began to creep in from the corners of the room.

“It is what your dear old friends never told you, it is the lies they hid from you. You are attuned to the Force.”

The smoke swirled upwards to form a picturesque version of Han. Dressed in the dark robes of a Sith, with the weapon to match. This vision of himself struck down the Luke-Vader monster, but when he did, it was only Luke's body that fell to the floor in a heap.

A piercing cry nudged gently at Han. It was soft at first, but grew louder as the seconds dragged on. He blinked and tilted his head. It came like a beam of light in the darkness, the beauty of the sun breaking through a storm cloud. It was Luke, and he was calling out to him.

It was his Luke, the real Luke. The Luke that had kissed him back.

“Whatever you see, Han, it's not real. It's just torture. Han! Don't listen to him. Han...”

His frantic voice, laced with love, faded away. An arm outstretched in a shape that could only be seen as fitting around his slender neck saw to silence Luke.

Han found his voice again briefly. “Don't!”

The nightmares throbbed in him. It was so hard to tell what was real and what was his darkness.

“No, you're right. Solo, you should be the one to hurt him.”

A knife slid across the floor and was stopped by Han's boot. He had lost his voice again, so the shake of his head was his only answer.

“Brave one, are you? Ah, as long as the knife is close to you I can't let it go to waste.”

The lacerations began at the hip bone and stopped at the ankle, each cut a grueling piece of misery. Han couldn't stop the quivering that ran down his right leg. They were close together, and felt as deep as the ocean. But an unnamed drug administered via a needle in the neck kept him from bleeding to death. Near the end of the knife show, Han's body gave out and he started to black out. Another drug forced him into a searing consciousness.

The inquisitor flashed another of his horribly evil smiles.

“Now it is your lover's turn.”

***

This was everything Luke hated about being a Jedi brought to life. No matter what he did, no matter how powerful he became, the ones he loved always suffered. His power was but a drop in the sea of the Force. And now in this containment field he could not even access that. Could not feel Han's presence, could not feel the boundless expanse of time and space that was the Force. Nothing was real to him anymore.

Names, places, events...what was anything without the Force?

He could sense nothing, hear nothing, see nothing. His mind felt bare and desolate, where once was a place of comfort now held a hollow divide. He stood on the precipice of a futile existence. Without his connection to the universe, his life was pointless.

It ate away at him. It devoured his mind. That dark hole was all he knew. The farm boy was gone. The last Jedi was no more. It was only Luke and the nothingness.

He couldn't save himself, and he couldn't save Han. He hadn't even saved his own father. If he had never been born, his mother would still be alive. It was all his fault.

All his fault.

Now that he was from the Force, this truth was clear.

A sardonic laugh interrupted the dark cascade that engulfed Luke.

One question dominated his mind. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why, it's all in good fun!” The inquisitor laughed.

“What...is your goal?” Luke's hard gaze had no effect on his torturer.

“To watch the world burn! Dead, dead dead. Failure! But not anymore. Now I serve myself. Break and break and break. That's what you are! Broken. Aren't you glad?” The words came out in disjointed pieces, his arms swept dramatically as he danced to a song only he could hear.

Luke could only assume that the dark side had corrupted him past any logical frame of mind. He was just a monster, then. But clarity of thought ended there for Luke as he was hit with Force lightening.

It burned and blistered and rendered him breathless. Somewhere in the room he could hear a remnant of Han's voice. But the bolts of fire threatened to destroy that, too. He would surely become a twisted husk, just like the man who captured him. Once he had been a beacon of hope for everyone, but now he could not feel a slither of hope in his body. His will faltered, and not even the special drugs could draw Luke back to life.

Annoyed, the inquisitor stormed out to search for something that would wake Luke up.

* * *

This was Han's chance. He had been turning over a way to escape in his mind. Luke just needed to wake up. Love for him swelled up in Han again.

“Luke! Wake up! Luke!” He cried out again and again, but no response was found. An old love song that used to play on the stations came back to Han. He had always hated it because it had never made sense to him. But now he saw the true meaning of the words, as if it was written just for the two of them. He sang out softly to Luke.

_So give me hope in the darkness_

Han leaned forward to try to undue his binders with the latch on his boots.

_that I will see the light_

They came unclasped with a soft clink.

_'Cause oh that gave me such a fright_

He stood, putting his weight on his good leg.

_But I will hold as long as you like_

He cried as he made his way over and jammed his fist onto the system to release Luke.

_Just promise me we'll be alright_

Han cradled Luke in his arms. His tears fell salty on Luke's face.

“Cmon kid, we gotta get out of here. Cmon...” He held his breath and closed his eyes. That feeling that he hid from his entire life he now embraced. He reached out to Luke through the Force. He wasn't nearly as strong as Luke was, but it had to be enough. Luke had to know he was there.  
The suspense made the moment seem longer than it was as he waited for Luke's eyes to open.

“Han.” Relieved, Han pressed his lips gently to Luke's.

“You're alive.” Han whispered against Luke's lips. But Luke didn't hear him. He had already slipped back into the limbo between life and the Force.

Han hoisted him across his shoulders, willing his leg to hold up under the pressure. If he could find a town, he could call for an evac. But that monster was strong in the Force. He would have to avoid him long enough to survive.

They had escaped, but danger was still all around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Han sings to Luke is "Ghosts That We Knew" by Mumford and Sons.


End file.
